Goodbye Love
by Serpico1986
Summary: Roger and Mimi said their Goodbyes for real this time. Blind Roger storyline.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! Here another story on Rent.**

 **Since in one of them i mentioned Mimi leaving Roger, i decided to write a fanfic explaining why, so it's takes place before "a Story About Love"**

 **I know most of you dislike my stories, but i honestly don't care, so, for those who like it, i say i do very much appreciated your time to read my work, you make this site brighter.**

 **thank you and nice reading.**

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 **PART ONE**

Mimi looked at herself in the mirror and she didn't like what she saw. She was getting thinner in a way she was not happy about. She felt tired as she took in a deep breath and lifted her shirt to take a shower, as she felt like she was about to cry. On her torso were small purple bruises that were spread out over her upper torso. She knew they were not from being hit but from what she was dying to.

She turned away from the mirror not wanting to see any more of her once beautiful body and stepped into the shower. She turned on the water and quickly washed herself. She carefully left the shower and dried herself. Not wanting to look at herself in her mirror again she left the bathroom and got dressed. She quickly walked into the kitchen to make lunch for her boyfriend Roger. She heard someone walking into the room and she smiled as she heard a familiar voice.

"I smell something good." Roger said in Mimi's ear. "What are you making?"

"I'm cooking you some soup for lunch." She said kissing Roger's cheek before going back to the soup. "So how did the meeting with Joanne go?"

"It well." Roger said moving over to a stool and sat down.

"Speaking of things going well, I have some good news to tell you."

"Oh tell me please?" Mimi said carefully pouring some soup in a bowl and sat it in front of Roger.

"Well, to begin with Joanne managed to convince my family that with me being HIV positive, Diabetic and blind that me being forced to be them would be more of a burden then a good idea."

"But you're not a burden." Mimi said grabbing the crackers for the soup and setting some next to Roger's bowl.

"Well, they weren't very eager in taking me after that." Roger smiled reaching out and grabbing Mimi around the waist to pull her into a hug. "So it worked out there." He laid his head on her shoulder and smiled as he took in her scent of roses that was her bath soap. "Also I have found a job!" Mimi gently pushed him away and smiled big.

"What? Where did you get the job?" Mimi asked unsure of how many jobs will except a blind diabetic HIV man to work for them.

"You know that Instrument shop just a few blocks away?" Mimi nodded but giggled before saying she did. "Well, they needed someone to tune some of their instruments. Tom took me there when he saw the help wanted sign. I explained my experience and they didn't seem to care that I was blind."

"Baby that is awesome news!" Mimi exclaimed throwing her arms around Roger's neck. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks Meems." Roger said kissing her gently on the forehead. "I don't know what I would do without you. But I'm glad you're here. I love you very much."

"I love you too, Rog." Mimi said kissing him passionately on the lips. She truely did love him, but seeing those bruises on her body and the fact she was loosing more and more weight she feared of what Roger would think if she left.

A few days passed and Mimi was thanking God that Roger was blind. The amount of bruises over her body steadily grew more. However there were things she wished she could hide from him. That bothered her greatly.

It was during one night where they were snuggling close together that Roger, gently moving his hands down her side noticed the difference.

She was more thin then usual and he looked worried much to Mimi's fears. "Baby, is everything okay with you?" He asked as he once again felt the thinning of her body beneath his fingers.

"It's a new work out I'm doing." Mimi said quickly trying to think of the last excuse she could think of. "Don't worry, I'm not liking this either..." She stopped and quickly left the bed. Roger knew she had rushed to the bathroom as he could hear her loud coughs echoing against the walls. He slowly climbed into the sitting position but Mimi returned a few minutes later and climbed into bed and moved closer towards Roger.

"Are you alright, Meems?" Roger asked and Mimi nodded her head against his chest.

"Just coming down with a cold." Mimi said and yawned dropping the subject. Roger fell into an uneasy sleep as he wrapped his arms around Mimi's thinning frame.

Later that night he awoke once again with more loud coughing coming from the bathroom. He leaped off the bed falling to the floor and scrambling to find his walking cane.

"Mimi? Mimi is everything alright?" He abandoned his search and walked carefully, however quickly to the bathroom to hear the coughing getting more and more intense. "Mimi?" He gently called once there was a break in the coughing. "Mimi are you alright baby?"

"Roger?" Mimi called her voice was full of alarm. "Are you alright?" Roger heard Mimi running towards him trying to block as much of the coughing as she did. Roger felt her grab his hand and finally felt something wet and sticky slowly sliding down his hand.

"Mimi I should ask if you're alright?" Roger said taking his hand away from Mimi's. He sniffed softly trying to find Mimi's rose petal soup scent before staring directly at her. "You woke me up coughing again. What's going on?"

"Like I said it's just a cold." Mimi said before coughing another couple of minutes not nearly as bad as before though. "A really bad one." She sniffed several times trying to convince Roger that she was indeed sick with a cold but she could see the frown of being unconvinced on his face.

"Are you sure about that?" Roger asked his voice soft but demanding the truth. Mimi hated lying to him. But she knew she couldn't tell him the truth about anything.

"Yes, my love. Now let's go back to sleep." As Roger turned to walk away he felt his hurt hand being gently taken and he could feel a band-aid being placed on the cut he somehow gotten. "That's better." Mimi said her voice sounding happy.

As Roger lay in his bed listing to Mimi's soft coughs beside him he had to wonder if she was indeed telling the truth. He moved his head in her direction but closed his eyes instead falling into a dreamless sleep.

While she was glad her lover couldn't see her, Mimi had still eighth pair of eyes, to watch over her and noticing how much she had changed. Everyday she fought to male up a lie not only to Roger, but to Mark, Tom, Joanne and Maureen as well.

"Meems are you alright?" Tom had asked as Mimi and him walked to the kitchen of the loft.

"Yep." Mimi said with a smile. But Tom could see that the smile never reached her eyes. He knew she was hiding something by the way she quickly answered and seemed to dodge other questions about her appearance.

"Then how come you're wearing a lot of makeup?" He asked and saw something flash in her eyes. He remembered when she was working at the Cat Scratch she wore a lot of makeup to draw in crowds but when she changed her job and started working as a housekeeper she didn't need to wear that much.

"Roger likes it when I wear makeup." Mimi said too quickly to have thought it through.

Tom gently grabbed Mimi's shoulders and held her directly in front of her. His face had the signs of concern for his friend. "Mimi, Roger can't see anymore. I'm not trying to be unfair to him but you have to tell him. I've seen your bruises on your arms Meems. I'm not blind like Roger. Tell me the truth, are you doing okay?"

"I said I'm fine Tom!" Mimi said getting out of Tom's grip. "I'm just fine. Now let's drop the subject please!" Tom watched as Mimi spun around on her heel and headed towards the door.

He knew she wasn't fine. He knew she was hiding something and he was more worried about what his friend Roger would say if he found out the truth.  
 **_/_**  
Mimi shivered as she left her doctor's appointment a week later. Even though it was the middle of Summer, Mimi felt cold.  
She was scared what the future now held for her. She walked into an alley way and lit a cigarette. She thought of the last time she "died". The last time she felt like giving up on love her late friend Angel gave her life again by telling her to listen to one of Roger's songs. However no matter how many of Roger's songs she head she knew it wouldn't happen again. She began to cry hard when she thought of what she needed to do.

She didn't want Roger to have to deal with her dying on him like their friend Angel. She knew she had to leave him to save him from the pain. She knew she had to act fast before it was too late to leave.

It was a fun night in the loft a few days later where Mimi felt herself surrounded by all of their friends. They had gathered to watch Mark's new film and not wanting to exclude Roger from the merriment, Mimi had spent describing every scene to him. The full night was full of laughter and happiness. But Mimi wasn't feeling that. She felt scared and miserable.

"Are you taking your AZT?" Tom asked her the next morning when he came by to see her. Roger had gone to work, with Tom's help and Tom came back to check on Mimi.

"Yes I am. Why do you ask?" Mimi questioned as she worked on fixing some sandwiches for them, even though she wasn't feeling like eating.

"Mimi I'm worried about you." Tom said as Mimi set the food in front of him. "I'm scared that we're going to loose you like we lost Angel. None of us deserve that. Roger doesn't deserve that."

Mimi continued to stand next to the table contemplating on sitting down but Tom quickly stood and pulled her into a hug. He was careful not to crush her for he could sense how brittle her bones were. Mimi gently placed her head on Tom's chest and felt her heart breaking into a million pieces. But she didn't cry. She had no strength to cry.

"Don't worry Tom." Mimi said her voice barely a whisper. "I'll make sure none of you have to witness this." Mimi was let go before heading into her bedroom without a word.

That night, Mimi spent most of it watching Roger sleep. She gently traced every line in Roger's face with her finger memorizing everything. She knew that what she had to do would be hard on him and her. She wanted to remember Roger every day she had left. She wanted to have his face in her thoughts as she went away. That way she wouldn't be alone without a friendly face.

"Mimi?" Roger whispered confused with Mimi being so close to him. "Is it morning?" He asked looking back and forth.

"No, it's still night, my love." Mimi answered her heart feeling like it weighed like a hundred pounds. "I just couldn't sleep. At least not at first. Go back to sleep." Roger was confused as he laid back down but felt more relieved as he felt Mimi's head on his shoulder.

The next afternoon, Mimi was ready to leave when she heard the cheap cellophane that made her turn around. She was surprised to see Roger tapping his way towards the kitchen where she was.

"Roger..." Mimi squeaked as Roger held out the roses for her to take. Mimi gently took them from him and felt pain in her chest. She was beginning to rethink her decision on leaving him. "What are these for?"

"Tom told me you were feeling down so I had asked Maureen to help me buy you some flowers. Roses were suggested. I hope you like this." He waited for a kiss of thanks but all her heard was Mimi's loud sobs. "Mimi, did I do something wrong?"

"No..." Mimi said giving Roger a wet kiss on the lips. "No. They're beautiful. Thank you." Her fray thin arms wrapped around Roger holding him close feeling his heart pounding in his chest and in turn breaking hers.

It was dawn, after a long sleepless night, that Mimi decided she needed to leave after all. She quietly packed all of her belongings, which wasn't much.

She held a small piece of paper, write a note and attach it on his guitar, thank she walk slowly and quietly towards the bedroom door but stopped for just a minute to look back at Roger who turned on his left side. She had to leave right then before she changed her mind and put Roger in the world of pain.


	2. Chapter 2

**Last part, hope you like**

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 **PART TWO**

Roger woke up with the nice smell of freshly brewed coffee wafting in from the kitchen. He turned to Mimi's side of the bed, he felt around, to see that it empty and cold. He smiled believing that she was responsible for creating the wonderful scent that filled the loft.

Slowly, he got up and retrieved his can and made his way to the kitchen. He heard Collins and Mark were already having breakfast.

"Hey, look who's finally up. Good morning sunshine. Come on over and grab some breakfast. I kind of made too much." Collins smiled seeing his friend enter the room.

"Good morning to you too. Where's my beautiful lady?" he asked, thinking that Mimi was with them.

"Isn't she still sleeping?" Mark asked confused.

"I may be blind, but I am capable of feeling when I wake up alone. She isn't out here with you guys?" he joked looking in their direction.

"No, man. She probably left for work. Why don't you have some breakfast before you have to head off too. Collins has stuff to do, so I'm taking you. Is that cool?" Mark asked looking up at him.

"No, it's my day off. I was hoping to spend the day with Mimi, but I guess she got called in." Roger told them before joining them for breakfast.

"Lucky you." Collins smiled over at him before putting a fork full of egg in his mouth.

_/_

When they were finished eating, Mark did the dishes before he and Collins left for work. Roger was home alone, listening to the radio and practiced his braille. The previous week, he had begun learning how to cook meals on his own at the institute and he was confident enough to make simple things like ramen soup. As the day wore on, he found it strange that Mimi hadn't called once to check on him.

Later that evening, Mark and Collins got home from work and Roger was sleeping on the couch. The sound of the door startled him and he was jarred awake.

"Did you stay in the whole day?" Mark asked, setting down his camera bag.

"You act like that's a new thing." he laughed sitting up on the couch.

"We're starving. Are you up for some pizza?" Collins asked looking down at him.

"Definitely. Anything but eggplant. " Roger answered "Why don't you go in and ask Mimi if she wants garlic knots." he told him. He ran his fingers through his hair, knowing that it was probably sticking up on end.

"Good idea." the filmmaker laughed before going towards her and Roger's bedroom. He knocked on the door before calling out her name. Meems, we're getting pizza. Should I get you garlic knots?" he asked, opening the door to the bedroom. He noticed that the room was empty. The bed wasn't made and she was nowhere to be found. He entered the room and looked around. No one was there. He went back out to the main area to where his friends were.

"Small or large order?" Collins asked going over to the phone.

"No one's there. She must still be at work." he looked over at him.

"I'm gonna call and make sure she's still there. I'm getting a bad feeling." Collins said picking up the phone and dialing the number to the main office of Mimi's job. "Hey, is Mimi Marquez still there?" he asked as Roger listened intently.

"I'm sorry. Miss Marquez no longer works here. She called yesterday afternoon and quit. She said she's moving out of town." the receptionist informed him as Collins stood by, stunned.

"Um… thank you. I'm sorry to bother you." he said hanging up the phone.

"Well, what did they say? Is she OK?" Roger asked. unaware of the situation.

"Um, I don't know how to tell you this Roger, but she's gone." Collins told him, as he walked towards him.

"What do you mean she's gone? Where did she go?" Roger looked up in his direction, confused.

"She quit her job yesterday and told them that she's leaving town. She's gone, Roger." he told him before sitting next to him on the couch.

"She left me?" Roger asked quietly, hanging his head in fear.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Rog." Mark said looking down at his blind, heartbroken friend.

"Why would she leave me? I… I don't understand. Everything was OK. It was, right?" he asked looking up.

"I… may have the answer to that." Collins said quietly.

"What are you talking about?" Roger asked him.

"She's sick. She lost a lot of weight and I saw the sarcoma developing on her arms. She's been wearing big clothes to cover it up, but when she was doing dishes last week, I… I noticed when she put her sleeves up. I told her that she needed to tell you and she promised she would, but she needed to work up the nerve to do it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but it wasn't my secret to tell." he explained looking over at him.

"Why wouldn't she tell me? Why would she think that leaving me would be better than telling me and letting me take care of her?" he asked. The tears fell from his eyes.

"My guess is that she didn't want to burden you. I mean, you have enough to worry about between your diabetes and losing your vision. It's a lot to handle." Mark told him, sympathetically.

_/_

Mark called Maureen and Joanne to see if Mimi was there. She wasn't. They volunteered to go out looking for her, but Roger advised against it. He knew she wouldn't be in the city. She wanted to disappear and staying in the city, where she could be found, wouldn't be smart. The men didn't eat dinner that night. Roger wasn't hungry anyway. He was busy with worry over Mimi and where she was. She was sick and alone and all these scenarios went through his head. None of them ended well. He retreated to his room and lay in their bed. He brought her pillow to his nose as he sniffed her rose scent before dozing off to sleep.

The next morning when Roger woke up, he had no idea what time it was, before getting out of bed and going into the kitchen. He smelled coffee, so he knew that someone was up as he made his way through the loft. He heard voices. It was Mark and Collins. They were clinking their forks on their breakfast plates. They were talking about Mimi's absence and what it would mean for Roger in his condition. He cleared his throat, getting their attention before entering the room. "Hey Rog. How'd you sleep?" Collins asked looking up at him.

"She didn't called, did she?" Roger as, as they looked at him. The look on his face was that of a heartbroken man.

"No. I'm… I'm sorry, man." Mark said quietly.

"Do you want some breakfast? I can whip something up for you in no time." Collins asked getting up from his seat.

"No, I'm… I'm not hungry. I think I'm gonna go lay down. I didn't sleep very well last night and I'm still tired." he told them. The sound of his voice was monotone and sad.

"You have class at the institute in a little while. Why don't you get dressed? It's my day to take you." Mark suggested looking over at him.

"I don't feel like it. I'm gonna stay home today." he informed them.

"Roger, you can't slack off on your classes. You're still blind and you still need help figuring out how to get around. Mimi wouldn't want you to ditch your studies just because she's gone." Collins looked over at him.

"Well, Mimi's not here, is she?" Roger snapped at them as he left the room to go back to bed. He bumped into the door jam of the kitchen and few things in his haste, but he kept going. Stopping only when he got to his bedroom. He tapped his way to his bed and lay down. Missing Mimi and wishing she would come back.

_/_

Two weeks passed and no news from Mimi. Her mother called from Spain, but apparently not even her family knew where she was.

One day, Tom Collins was coming back from work, when passing by Times Square, he spotted a few cops working on a dead homeless, but didn't had the courage to approach to look, nor had tell anyone about it.

A few days passed and the group has sadly started to lose hope, going to their everyday life, just hoping to find her alive someday.

Meanwhile, they tried to assist Roger in his everyday life and as much as he felt heartbroken, he keep going into his routines, going to work and to the rehab, as Mimi never existed.

One evening, after getting back from work, Roger decided to fender his guitar once again, as it has been a while since he played it and he decided to distract himself.

As he pick it up, he found something was stuffed between the chords. Confused, he ran his fingers over it. It was a piece of paper. He set the guitar down and held the note in his hands. Could this be from me? Did it contain an explanation as to why she packed up and disappeared in the middle of the night? He made his way to the living room and sat heavily on the couch. He was waiting for one of his roommates to come home so they could read the contents of the note.

Mark almost jump with the sight of his friend sitting on the couch, staring into the abyss. He was holding a white sheet of paper. It was folded in half a few times to make it small enough to fit in the palm of your hand. Roger held it between his thumb and forefingers. "Roger. What are you doing out here all alone? You nearly scared the hell out of me." he looked over at him.

"I need to know what this says. Read it to me." he said, holding the note out to Mark so he could take it.

"What is this? Where did you find it?" he asked taking the note from his hand.

"I found it stuck between the strings of my guitar. It's from Mimi, I know it. I need to know what it says. Mark, read it to me." Roger was anxious. Mark could clearly see that and knew any delay in him reading the note would most likely drive Roger over the edge.

"Are you sure you want to hear what it says?" Mark asked, knowing the answer already.

"Mark, please. I need to know what it says. I need to know why she left me. Please. It's important." he pleaded. He could hear the sound of Mark opening the paper. He imagined Mimi's loopy, girly handwriting and the little hearts she always put over the i's. Much different than his scrawly handwriting. He could barely read it himself. If not for the years of songwriting, he wouldn't be able to read a word. As Mark was about to begin, the loft door opened. Roger could smell the cologne. It was clearly Collins.

"What's going on? Why are you guys sitting there? Did you hear something about Mimi?" he asked in a panic. He was afraid to know the answer, but had to ask the question.

"Not exactly. Um… Mimi left a note." Mark informed the professor as they both looked at Roger.

"Where did you find it?" he asked setting his bag down.

"She left it on my guitar. I haven't played it since she left, so I didn't know it was there. I only found it because I was gonna play it." Roger explained looking in his direction.

"What does it say?" Collins asked sitting on the armchair across from his friends.

"We don't know. I was just about to read it when you walked in." Mark told him, clutching the note in between his fingers.

"So, let's get on with it." Roger told him impatiently as he fidgeted with his rings.

"Right. Sorry" Mark said looked down at the note. He hoped that it contained an explanation as to why she left, Roger needed that. He stared down at the piece of paper and began reading.

Dear Roger, I don't know how else to start except by saying that you don't need any more baggage than you already have. I can't burden you with my illness when you are suffering with your own. I can't let you witness me withering away the way our Angel did. You don't need it and you don't deserve it. I'm writing this to say goodbye love. I love you too much to make you see me suffer, so I must say goodbye." Mark read before turning to paper over. He couldn't believe that that was all she wrote. "That's it? What the hell does she mean? She's sick and, what? She went off to die? On her own and alone?" Mark asked. He was outraged that his friend would do this.

"At least, she said goodbye." Roger whispered just shaking his head in disapproval., hoping never fall in love again.

 **The End**


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